Strategies to Build a Healthy, Strong and Loving Marriage
Feb 04, 2023I would like to introduce you to Rachel and John; they’re a typical Australian couple with a house, two kids and jobs.
They’ve been together for 20 years and have endured it all; the ups, downs, highs and the lows.
However, with time Rachel and John slowly drifted apart. The simplest of things would irrationally irritate the other, while resentment festered over past decisions. Tensions, blaming and arguments were becoming commonplace in the home.
Rachel felt unhappy and disconnected from John. She had left the town she loved, a successful business she had built from scratch and all her friends, for John’s new job.
She resorted to the familiar and worked to build a new business and a new life for herself and the kids, while John worked hard in his new position to provide for his family. The stress of his job saw John over-extend himself and lose touch with his family.
Rachel wanted to fix their marriage but was concerned that the relationship was unsalvageable and that perhaps she should move on; John’s energies were depleted; he didn’t know how or what had happened, only that he loved Rachel and wanted to find a way. Communication was strained, little connection remained and intimacy… well that was entirely off the table.
John and Rachel's decided to do the work and their relationship transformed from two people who were governed by resentment and struggled to make eye contact, to it all melting away.
Their connection and communication deepened and their passion and intimacy was enhanced like never before.
Rachel and John’s testimony was that they experienced a deep connection that they had not experienced in decades. Not only was their marriage revitalised but they are actually happy, naturally affectionate and have proven strategies to use whenever challenges arise.
Here are the top 3 hacks that John and Rachel used to move their relationship forward;
1. Compelling Relationship Vision
Without a vision, the people perish (Proverbs 29:18). Nothing could be more accurate in relationships. Common goals or a shared vision are something you collectively work towards. Perhaps it’s to save for the dream house or go on that holiday. Big or small it doesn’t matter, sharing common goals, hobbies or dreams is one way to stay connected.
Further, create a compelling relationship vision by writing down exactly how each of you would like your relationship to be (from a place of love). For example, your ideal relationship might include a kiss and a cuddle each morning from your partner.
Your wording is essential, and the small details matter, so pay close attention to them.
2. Conscious Communication
Your wants and needs matter. Let me repeat this: your wants and needs in a relationship matter. It is imperative to lovingly; communicate exactly what you want and need from the relationship.
Having a clear way to communicate so there are no misunderstandings is an essential foundation for any successful relationship.
3. Appreciation & Connection
Vocalise what you love and appreciate in your partner; this goes a long way! Tell your lover about the things you love about them and be specific; the more detailed, the better.
Creating connection habits is also a cornerstone for successful relationships.
What connection habits could you create with your partner today? It does not have to take long it could be a 1 minute hug, kiss and asking how the other person is everyday.
*Disclaimer- all names have been changed to protect identity and privacy of clients.