5 Tips for maintaining a strong relationship as busy parents without needing to find extra time
May 20, 2023
I am about to spark a big debate, but when you are strong as a couple, you are a team and present a connected, loving, united front -you are unbreakable, and your kids thrive on that stability!
Your relationship is the number 1 priority, even above the kids!
Yes, of course, there are nuances to this and not every time this is possible (I have three kids myself, trust me, I get it).
But I have many Mums who tell me their kids are number 1, and they give and live for their kids because they want their kids to thrive and grow up to be intelligent, healthy, confident and kind humans.
Wow, yes, yes, yes!
However, by demonstrating a kind, loving, authentic and deep relationship, you are teaching them to have empathy; you are teaching them what clear adult communication looks like.
You are teaching your kids what a healthy, loving and functional relationship is.
You are teaching them so much indirectly while nourishing your relationship!
That’s it! No extra time is needed.
We don’t need 5 tips; that right there is THE MOST IMPORTANT POINT.
Just kidding, there is more to come, but honestly, read that again because when you get that as a parent, your whole lens shifts, and it becomes easier to create a world-class relationship as a Mum or Dad.
Let’s keep going – number 5 is particularly potent.
2. Bring awareness to your actions.
Have a genuine loving conversation with your partner about your partner’s needs and wants and why it is important to them. Then make it a priority to sprinkle those things into the days or weeks (when done right, this conversation creates a significant impact, and you might say well, of course, but people do not take the time to do this).
You could have this conversation while driving or doing the dishes – you don’t need to spend much time in your day. Make sure you listen to your partner’s answer; just because you have been together for 30 years does not mean the answer is the same as when you first got together – wants and needs change.
3. Get physical with one another.
Haha, no, not an exercise routine, but be affectionate, cuddle and kiss hello and goodbye. Grab one another while doing the mundane (dishes, folding, cleaning etc.) and steal a kiss. These little fun and spontaneous acts keep the passion and intimacy alive.
4. Keep the play!
You play with your kids, you joke, you are lighthearted, and you laugh. Do this with your spouse. For some reason, we get to a point where we have jobs, responsibilities and kids, and little by little, we forget to laugh.
We must remember to start having fun, laughing, playing and being light hearted with our partner. This creates spontaneity (a core human need) and reconnects you.
5. Simultaneously be selfless and selfish!
Your partner can not be all things to you. You need to be simultaneously selfless and selfish.
Selfless in that you think about your partner’s wants and needs to do your best to do a few niceties or thank yous each day. But you are selfish when looking after your mental health, making yourself happy and caring for your own well-being (both people need to do this).
When both of you practise being selfless and selfish – you have two happy people who have their needs met. But notice the key distinction is looking after your own happiness and own mental health and being your gatekeeper when it comes to remembering to do nice things for your partner.
It’s about you both taking 100% responsibility for yourself and the relationship’s health.
Staying strong as a couple can be easy when you have a few core beliefs and actions dialled in.
Connect with Laura at;
P: 0424 965 107
https://www.laurapresscounselling.com.au/
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